So we’ll tell you some of the things your bridesmaids are worried about and how you can help calm their fears.
The costs they will incur
Your bridesmaids know that they have to cover the cost of their shoes, dresses, the bridal shower and they might also want to buy you a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift. So as you choose the dresses and shoes you would like them to wear be mindful of their pockets. If your heart is set on those gorgeous but pricy dresses, then consider chipping in to the cost. And don’t use the ‘you will wear these dresses again’ line to convince them that those costly dresses are worth buying. No one wants to look like a bridesmaid on a date or at another event.
Also have in mind that bridesmaid who lives out of town, it might be quite costly for her to keep traveling. Try and work out a way in which she can attend as few dress fittings as possible and excuse her from having to attend some committee meetings.
A destination wedding sounds exciting but your bridesmaids are probably thinking about the cost of travel and accommodation. It is advisable that you cover those costs as they can be pretty hefty and let your bridesmaids know that as you inform them of the wedding venue.
You
Yes, they are worried about you. They are wondering how you are doing. Are you nervous, excited, tired, energized or overwhelmed? How are the plans going? And they are probably also wondering how they can help. Your bridesmaids are not just accessories; they also have a role to play in helping you out and also as a sounding board for wedding ideas.
Their dresses
Bridesmaids come in all shapes and sizes. So if you have a particular dress design in mind, think about their various shapes and whether it suits all of them. A bridesmaid with a big bust might not be very comfortable in a strapless design. While a tulle skirt might not be very flattering for a bridesmaid with a pear shape. You can specify some basics such as the colour and length of the dresses and then let the bridesmaids choose their style. They will feel comfortable in their dresses while still maintain a beautiful cohesive look.
Too much wedding talk
Wedding planning has the potential of taking over your life. And we get it; you want every detail to be perfect. So you might find yourself spending every waking hour looking at wedding ideas and talking about wedding plans. But be careful not to go overboard and bore your bridesmaids with too much wedding talk. Find out what’s going on with her; how are things at work? How is her family doing?
photography by Ben Kiruthi
Losing a friend
Your bridesmaid knows things will change once you are married, but to what extent? Will you still make it for an impromptu girls’ night out? How about out of town getaways with the girls? And when she badly needs to talk at 2am, can she still call you? Probably not. So what does this mean for your friendship? Will it be tossed away as you toss your bouquet? Ofcourse not! But your friend does not know that. Let her know how much your friendship means to her and that you will still make time for her once you are married.
In the months leading up to your wedding , if you keep canceling plans you made with her she might take it as a sign of how things will be going forward. So try and make time to hang out with your friend even as you plan your wedding.
When will their turn come?
This is especially so for your single bridesmaids. They are genuinely happy for you but your impending wedding might cause them to long for theirs too. Be aware of this as you talk about your wedding and be careful not to rub it into their faces.
Being overwhelmed
Being a bridesmaid comes with some expectations; one of them being that they will help out the bride with wedding related tasks. While it is a good idea to delegate tasks, remember that these ladies have their own lives too. Assign the tasks while considering their work schedule, their proximity to certain places and also their interests. Do you have a bridesmaid who is the ultimate fashionista? Take her along to your wedding dress shopping; she will probably enjoy that and offer some valuable advice too. Is there a foodie in your bridal party; bounce off your catering and cake ideas on her. Does one of your bridesmaids live close to your wedding cake bakery? It might be easy for her to make a visit to the bakery if need be.